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Human brains are wired for all-or-nothing thinking. We want everything to fall into a box. Good or bad. Black or white. But in reality, life is just lots of shades of grey. Life, actions, things, and people, just are - good and bad are our emotions and how we choose to see things.
All-or-nothing thinking is convenient, we quickly jump to conclusions and choose not to see all the nuances of the situation. Accepting that things are not so straight -forward is scary and pushes our lazy brain to work (which it doesn't like doing, by the way, thus it creates lots of mental constructs by generalisation). . A yes-or-no-thinking is holding us back, it flattens out the beauty and complexity of the world.
The next time you want to label a person or an act, try to look at the situation at hand from the other person's view and then from a perspective of an impartial observer.
This exercise will help you to calm down and start noticing the nuances. At the end of the day, it is small details that make our lives unique. If we follow only all-or-nothing thinking then life comes down to alive or dead, and nothing else matters. Where do you have all-or-nothing thinking? Is there a different way to see things? Especially where are you stuck and resist seeing the other point of view?